Everything:infravermelho

and now here are some less boring

are you involved?

i'm not talking about joining the dove campaign.
im asking if you are on bored with "real beauty"

ever since I can remember my mom has always harshly corrected me if I ever said I was "fat" or "ugly" or "stupid".

and it really has changed my mind.

and I hope I can change someone's mind.

I have spent the past few days in everett with levi and jody [and jacob] and in renton/kent with matt. it has been a blast. last night matt and I went to hells kitchen to see fall from grace, from aphony, theme for murder [the lead singer STILL cannot sing] and the formal. it was a pretty good show altogether. I realized that 98% of all girls at shows are just there for attention/to meet guys/went with a guy. the other 2% either genuinley like the music or are with the band. it's SO annoying.

tomorrow I am going back up to renton because matt has a show, then the next day we are driving to canada to camp with his family for a week. im pretty excited about [a boot?] meeting them, but also sort of nervous. I just hope all goes well.

see you when I get back!

my job SUCKS. please dont quote me on that, but it does SUCK.

I worked from 12-7 today and had about 7 customers total.

someone please give me my old job back.

I'm so tired of waking up with Makenna in the morning. I have been doing it this week [because Lauren is a failure] and I've been alright taking care of her, but this morning I was just so tired and I really dont feel good. How do you discipline 19 month olds? It's impossible.

I went in for training yesterday at Missy's Espresso. They do things a lot differently than Urraco, I'm not surprised though, everyone does everything differently. I think I'll like it a lot better once I just start making drinks, like two people came in yesterday in the four hours that I was there. They want me to work practically all day Sunday by myself though... okay... that's fine... The good thing is that it sounds like I'm going to be getting a lot of hours, which is all I'm really looking for in this job. Well, that and the experience of working at another espresso stand for future jobs. [*cough* Starbucks]

I can't believe it's raining again. does summer always start this late?

I think I just got hired at Missy's Espresso... I'm not really sure, it all happened so fast. I went in there a little while ago and handed my resume, appearently, to the manager. she asked me if I had any experience, what kind of hours I was free to work, and if I could work this sunday. without thinking [about the floodgate show] I said yes and she said great, because she needed someone to work that day. she said I would need to be trained but it shouldnt be too hard since I have already had experience making coffee. so I am going to go in there after 3pm tomorrow and she's going to train me I guess. kind of a weird happening, I wasnt really expecting it, although I am really excited! even though this isnt my first choice it is a paycheck for the summer. depending on how things go there I may or may not look for another job in Olympia once school starts in the fall.

I really hope I can still go to the floodgate show on sunday, Im sure they're not open too late on sunday evenings, but if I can't, it's a sacrafice I'll have to make to show them I want this job.

right now I can hear matt's friend michael gee playing "whiskey and rum", my favorite song of his. I am "working" the door at harambee [I say "working" because so far one person has showed up and Im not really expecting many more] but it's okay because it is a very low-key acoustic show and they werent really expecting anyone. but the acoustic acts are AWESOME!

I am staying up here in Renton for the weekend until we go to meet my whole family in everett to see jody and levi's appartment. I'm staying with a couple that goes to the church here- they are super nice.

my birhtday party was a lot of fun, I took a million pictures with my new camera which I decided Im NOT going to upload onto here because it will take WAY too long. Just go on my myspace.

right now I have a really bad pain in my leg and I can't fall asleep. what a bummer. today was by far a fantastic day! my mom let me go to Olympia with her to pick out a camera that I wanted. the guy at circuit city was VERY helpful. he had actually studied photography in college and had been working in the camera department for years, I was so greatful to have his help! I picked out the Canon EOS XT Rebel. haha. I know that probably doesnt mean much to you. It is an 8 megapixel SLR digital camera- it is very nice! at first my mom was hesitant to buying me a nice camera, but I reminded her that this camera would be with me when I went to Africa, when I got married, when I had kids, and when I traveled all over the world. she felt better about it after that. and after I told her I would chip in $400. I was glad too though, it's the greatest present ever!!

after more shopping me, my mom, and makenna went to the park to take pictures with my new camera, I'll probably be posting some of those on here soon. along with pictures of my party tomorrow. or wait.... today!

im 16 [woo!]

last night allison, katie, and I drove up to Renton to see one of Matt's shows as a surprise. It was fun surprising him like that. all the bands were really sweet, one might be a possible rock for sudan prospect. allison and katie left early and I rode home with Matt, we finally got home around 2 in the morning, we were sooo tired!

this week has been a little rough on me, nothing too bad but I've just been a little sensitive. I used that and the fact that it's almost my birthday as an exscuse to go shopping today with allison =) and Matt gave me my birthday present today, an awesome hoodie from zumiez that he knew I really wanted =) yay!

it's been really nice having a free saturday to do as I please. usually if I ever have a saturday off of work Im either sick or have something important I need to do. sleeping in, going out to eat, and shopping was really relaxing.

although the need to get a job is on my mind I am enjoying the transition.

you know... I was really not upset at all about this urraco thing at first. I was actually surprised by how much I DIDNT care. but for the past few days I think I have been getting gradually and gradually more upset by it. I'm pretty sure I was wrongfully laid-off.

the first surge of emotions came when kristi told me that they were training a new girl. what the hell? is what I thought to myself. why would you lay someone off because you didnt have enough hours for them and then hire someone else to work there?

exactly: you dont. so I guess now I am starting to realize that what Matt really wanted to do was fire me. why? im not so sure, probably because I am 15 and therefor I am dumber and less useful as the rest of the world. but I dont think he could have justifiably come up with a reason to fire me so he claimed he "didnt have enough hours".

I guess Im just upset. I dont really know how to describe why or how come, but I just am.

oh yah and my mom just told me today that a woman is sueing us because of a fender-bender that happened 3 1/2 years ago claiming "medical injury" and "loss of work".

I was just "let go" from my job at Urraco because Matt doesnt have enough hours avalible to give any to me.

I dont really know if I feel like ranting but then again this is my blog. If you dont want to read it, click on a link.

I guess I dont really understand why I am being the one who gets cut because I was not the last one hired, Marianne was hired like 3 months after me. I know that probably sounds really juvenile, like, "Well I was here firrrrrst!!!" But when you have to let someone go, how do you choose? Isnt it usually the last person who was there? Like when too many people get on a boat who do you throw off? I'm sure you can understand without my analogies. And another thing, this is Mariannes second job, she also works at A&W. I think that's where I really get pissed.

Other than that who cares. I'll just find another one I guess.

I dont really hate life... what I DO hate is FOOD POSIONING!!! I ate at Dairy Queen on Friday night with Molly. I got a hamburger meal and a blizzard, she got a hot dog and a blizzard. On Friday night around midnight I started feeling weird in my stomach, but ignored it and went to sleep easily. I woke up around 5am Saturday morning feeling EXTREMLEY nausous and laid there for a good half an hour trying to just make it go away. I finally got up and went to the bathroom and to my surprised puked up a mass amount. This continued on the hour for the rest of the day along with other unmentionables. Towards the evening I was feeling a tiny bit better, meaning I was able to walk out to the living room.

Yesterday I just had an extremley miserable and nausous feeling all day but managed not to throw up. However, this morning I woke up at 2:30am and couldnt go back to sleep until after 6am when I threw up everything... again.

we'll see how this goes.

In other news I signed up for Running Start FINALLY. I will be taking English 101, US History 147, Theatre, and Principles of Fitness all at SPSCC. That's 18 credits, the max you can take during a quarter.

I really do. It's not like I want to hurt them [sometimes] they are just so annoying. Last night Matt and I were sitting out on my porch swing and we both fell asleep, haha. But then Degas started barking at something out in the woods and we both woke up. Then I went into my bed and fell asleep and woke up at 4:30 in the morning because the stupid CAT wanted out. I hate animals.

Last night I had a scary dream. It was that I was sleeping and I woke up but I had something weird happening to me. All of my libs were numb and I kept having like little seizures. I tried to call 911, over and OVER again, but I couldnt dial the phone. it was so weird...

I have worked every day this week except for Thursday. I'm not sure if I'm working tonight. I said I would work for Marianne but I need to go to Olympia and register for Running Start, I am already passed the deadline.