Everything:infravermelho

Beach was really good... I think good is about the right word to describe it. The weather was rainy and cold and wet and that stunk, but you got over it after a while. Ron Mars was an amazing speaker, and it turns out he is one of the pastors who runs Veritas [the worship seminary Im going to this summer], so I got introduced to him and we got talking, his message on love/relationships was really helpful.

It was a lot of fun to meet new people from Westwood, I met this girl named Julie, who was pretty cool. And this boy named Josh, he was really cool, I enjoyed talking to him a lot =] Im thinking about maybe heading up to the Westwood youth group sometime, Adam wants to too.

Being at the Dunes felt like home to me, I love that place. We had a big bonfire late last night, that was awesome, we sang songs and shared stories, it was great.

This weekend also got a lot of stuff off my mind, like the dance, that was getting stressful, and Sam, I am totally over him. I walked over to the HS with Storm on Friday, and when we ran into Sam, again, I was invisable, and Molly was not. But it happens. And I dont even care, I dont like him.

You are more beautiful than anyone ever
Everyday You're the same
You never change no never
You are more beautiful than anyone ever
Everyday You're the same
You never change no never
And how can I ever deny the love of my Savior
You are to me everything all I need forever
How could you be so good?

There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You
Everywhere You are there earth or air surrounding
I'm not alone the heavens sing along
My God You're so astounding

How could You be so good to me
Eternally I believe that
How could You be so good to me
How could You be so good to me
We're not alone so sing along
We're not alone so sing along
Sing along, sing along

*sigh* I'm done...

It's 10:22, appearently I am going to be late for school, oh well. School is dumb. Death Cab For Cutie is playing on Windows and I just finished eating my favorite cereal. Sound relaxing? It is. It's the first time I have been relaxed in a long time, and it's been making me change. But I'm done with that. I decided that I can't walk over to the high school and see Sam anymore. It's killing me. If he likes Molly, then I'll get over it I guess. But I just have to let him go a little; he's been taking up a lot of room in my head, and that needs to end too. Last year I said I gave up boys. That's basicly a lie, sure I dont "date" them, but my heart is still all into them like there's no difference. What I really want is not to let myself fall. I know I can't help myself from liking someone, but I can to a point. I can control how much time I spend with them, how much I talk about them, that kind of stuff. That's how I think of letting myself fall... letting myself like them. Instead now I think I am going to do something different. I don't really know what, maybe look back on this experience and remember how much it hurt. I didnt like, love Sam. But I liked him a lot, and now knowing [thinking] he likes Molly, hurts. Big Splash is what started this. I was really glad when I found out he was coming. But when he got there it was like... I was invisible.

Big Splash was pretty fun. It was cool that we got to meet/help all the local bands. And being onstage for Floodgate was sooo awesome. But then after that I couldnt stand at all. And sat the rest of the time, so.. that sucked. Molly and I were standing right next to Hawk Nelson, and actually kind of talked with them, Hawk smiled at me, ahh yah! And then before we were going on stage, Superchick was hanging out backstage and I went up and started talking with Korey and Trisha and the other girl [dont know her name?] came up and started talking to us, THAT was cool. Finally met Dango, he's such a nice guy, he was even gonna hook me up withe a discount on a sweatshirt, haha.

Well I guess that's all for now, the main thing for this blog was that I need to change. Not like, "Oh i'm a horrible person, I need to change my life, blah blah blah." Just like, I need to stop letting myself fall for guys, and I just.. need to... relax..

A girl I know posted this in the "About Me" section of her myspace. I had to steal it, it's wonderful.

"I'm devoted to Jesus Christ. I have never in my life felt such a desire to seek him in the way that i am right now. To pick up my cross and follow him. He's real. God is real. God changes people. I have been set apart i have been sanctified, i am called. Screw impurity, insecurity, self hatred, anger, malice, i have no time to play around with the distractions of this world that are here only to interupt my destiny. I'm no where close to perfect, but Jesus is, so i figure the closer i get to him the better off i'll be! God's word says to be renewed in the spirit of our minds and put on a new self which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth. So that's what i'm about. God is beyond what our minds can comprehend. "

I'm ok. That's a good thing. Yes I did hit a very low low. Dont really know why, stupid brain, lol. But last night's Floodgate show was probably the best one ever. And you CANT escape God there, don't even try. Austin came, and he just became a Christian, so while I was up onstage I just kept smiling every time I would look at him because I was so happy for him. Then Molly started crying and went into a corner of the room, I went over and talked to her, then we went to the front of the stage and we all just gathered around her and prayed for her. And people from the band came down, and people from our YOUth group and all layed hands on each other. It was very "unifying" [that was the only word i could think of] . I just couldnt stop smiling and laughing and dancing the whole time. I think I'm finally reallly getting WORSHIP. I'm starting to grasp it, and I think that's what the happiness was. Or "Jesus Crack" as Molly calls it, lol. Thank you Jesus.

Rescue
You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you

Cause I need you Jesus
to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by
which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you

You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you

Cause I need you Jesus
to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
there's no other name by
which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you


I dont know the name of this song
Light of man
Love of God
Healing for the wounded heart
Like a child
I quiet my soul
Hear your voice
Surround me Lord

Jesus
Hold me into your heart
Into your heart
and oh my soul delights
And I know you hear my prayer
take me deeper, oh Lord

Glorious son
to you iIshall bow
bow my knees
bow my will
cherished by
the strong and the weak
humble hearts
shall hear you speak

By your love
Lord you opened by heart
now you're light will shine, always
By you're work
Lord your promise secure
my soul will live, always