Everything:infravermelho

Lately has been sort of weird. I've been really like... up and down with my moods. it scares me, haha. but not in a psycho bipolar way. Just like... sometimes I'll feel so good with where I'm at right now, with God, with my friends and family, and with Matt. But then I'll just get really freaked about everything and I'll start missing Matt really bad and then my dad starts yelling at me and then I get weird... I dont know. whatever. But I think in an "over-all" sense I am doing really good. hope that was a nice little summary of my emotional state lately... haha

I can't believe we go back to school in a couple of days. I was ready to never go back. but in less than a month from when we go back I will be transferring, so that's a relief. my family got a gym membership to anytime fitness, I want to work out, I like it... when I actually do it.

I'm pretty excited for 2007. Lots of cool stuff will happen. Jody and Levi will have their son Adam in April [hopefully in April...], and then they will be getting married in June or August. I get to be a bridesmaid! yah! I'll turn 16, and get my lisence. In the fall I'll start running start. Maybe Lauren will do something with her life, maybe not, maybe we'll adopt Makenna. Either way Makenna will be turning TWO!!! I am so excited [not]. Hopefully I will go back to Veritas this summer and go through the Missions track, that will be fun. And who knows, there's always a possibility of going to Sudan... if not there, I want to go on a mission trip somewhere this year!

And I already know Christmas is going to be great... ;)

my dad says I can't go to Seattle on New Years Eve with Mandy, Elisabeth, Becky, and Matt because 1.] he doesnt want me anywhere near Matt, because according to him our relationship hasnt changed. and 2.] im 15, therefor I cannot go to Seattle.

ok, since I have such BAD behavior, and the way I act isnt good enough to go somewhere without my parents, lets take a look at where he's coming from:

in the past two years I have...

>become a Christian [a REAL Christian]
>gone to tons of Christian conferences, concerts, and festivals
>put on a benefit concert for a missionary in Sudan
>started leading worship for my YOUth church, as well as being a student leader to my peers
>stopped the best relationship I've ever had to wait for God's timing
>transfered to a homeschooling program so that I will get better grades and get ahead in college

if you ask me I do a pretty dang good job of taking care of myself for being fifteen.

but you know, if I go to Seattle I will definitley

a.] get drunk
b.] get stoned
c.] have sex with Matt [I mean that's a given]
d.] and get beaten up and robbed, because everyone in the group I'm traveling with definitley WONT have pepper spray

wow. good thing parents are so smart.

Christmas is always a fun time. but the best time? AFTER Christmas. All the anticipation is over, and you have new stuff, and there are good sales. haha. I mean.. uhh... Jesus' birthday sure is special :) No seriously, we do a bad job of telling Jesus happy birthday on Christmas. If everyone started giving everyone else presents on my birthday instead of me I would be bummed. Anyways- random thoughts.

I got the (product) RED iPOD, I love it. Tunes out Lauren perfectly :)

I like my family, I like Christmas, I like Jesus.

Levi proposed to Jody last night, it was really exciting. It was their eight month anniversary. they ran into my room after they got home last night and were all happy and screaming and what not, haha.

Church this morning was fun, I love singing Christmas carols.

all this to say: hallelujah.

Im really glad:

i can work
i can dress however i want
i can go to church
i can get an education
i have food
i have a house
i can choose who i want to date/marry
i can have a blog
i can buy what i want
i have everything i need times a thousand


some people cant. im glad i can.

sitting in front of a room full of people. all under the age of twenty. all staring at you. some of them have tatoos, some have a lot of peircings, some dont. some of the girls have cuts on their wrists, and some have obviously recovered from addiction. some of them seem shy and afraid of some of the others. and some like the attention of the group, talking too loud, and getting ignored. but they all have two things in common:

one: they are all individuals
two: they all have a fire inside them burning to be like Jesus

what do you say to this group? this is what real teenagers are like. they are all different, they all have something they are passionate about, and they dont like to talk about problems. whether its their music, their sport, friends, family, their job, their future, school, they all have something they put their heart into. what do you say to this group? this group where to reach them you have to totally take off all the stuff you have learned about preaching and teaching the bible to "youth". to reach them you have to remove your mask and talk about things that are real to them, because they are real and they wont listen to anything fake. they're a group that wants to do something. they are the group that want to load up into a van, drive to seattle, and spend the late hours of the night talking to homeless people and giving them food and praying for them. they are the group that wants to put on punk rawk shows at their church to bring outsiders in. they are the group that wants to take away all the pretenses the church has about religion and teach people about the gospel by creating relationships with them. this is the group that created organizations like Invisible children, to write love on her her arms, and one truth. what do you say to this group?

real:

its something new to christianity.

If you want to know more about charity and cindy's ministry in Sudan, you can read their blog

Thursday, December 21, 2006
Return

Abuk is doing well. It is exciting to see her up and around all day now. She has begun watering our trees and helping around our place. Her family went to court and her children have been taken away from her ex-husband and given to her family! We are praying about how best to handle this situation now as we want her children to be reunited with her yet she really wants to be a part of our discipleship program and to stay with us. She doesn’t feel strong enough to start her own place with her children yet.

Titus and Divinah went home for the holidays while Charity, Doug, and I took a 2 ½ week break in Kenya. We were in need of some sleep and some time off without demands. It was a nice time to relax and God blessed us so much during that time.

The clinic was closed (hopefully for the last time) when we were gone but Abraham was able to launch the discipleship program. The disciples decided to meet three times a week and he has had nine consistent people with one more joining yesterday. It is refreshing to see their excitement to know the truth in a place where corruption and witchcraft are so prevalent.

Our former employee who ran off with a soldier abandoning her little boy has returned. He is definitely still angry but is reunited with his mom. Unfortunately, while we were gone another employee ran off with a soldier but she is now married to him.

In His Lap,
Cindy

I am really sick. Really miserabley sick.

I guess I don't really know what else to say about life right now. It's busy, it's stressful, it's getting OLD. I spent WAY too much money on people's Christmas presents this year, but that's ok to make up for the past 15 years in which I havent bought any. not with my own money at least. sheesh I am such a youngen...

Starting February first I will be doing Insight [school online] which I am pretty excited about. im not exactly sure why, i just hope I will get better grades than I am now.

i can't wait for christmas. i love christmas.

so the last night and today I have realized what kind of person I am. and what kind of habits I have.

habit # 1: turn on the light switch when you walk into every room, even when you're holding a candle

habit # 2: sit in front of the computer, even if the screen is black

habit # 3: if everyone is sitting in the living room and it is dark, grab the remote

habit # 4: try to sit in front of the computer again

"What are you looking for?"
exscuse me?
I looked at the stranger. standing on the gray with cold on his nose.
"Hm?"
What am I looking for?
He asked with a persistancy. like if I told him he could point out exactly where to find it.
"Oh, nothing. I suppose."
what can he know. how could he possible help me. he cant even help himself.
"Alright then,"
he said looking at me as though he knew I was lying.
"Whatever it is just make sure its not something you already have."
I turned to walk away, not paying a cent of attention to this man on the street.
he must be on something.
as I walked to the wall of the next alley I stopped.
what was that supposed to mean anyways?
I turned back to where the man was standing, fiddling with something in his hands.
"What do you mean?"
this boldness of clarifying with people was new for me and got me in arguments often.
"It's simple,"
he said. as if he gave this advice all the time.
"no point in looking for something you already have. but sometimes we do it often."
he trailed off.
as if he didnt want to talk much more about it.
well you started the coversation here bud.
"So what is it you think im looking for?"
this ought to be good.
"Lonliness."
he said.
with a confidence I hadnt seen from him before.
"make sure you don't already have it."

god I hate feelings sometimes.

If something is not pleasing to God does that mean it is DISpleasing to God? Or if something is not DISpleasing to God does that mean it is pleasing? Can't God just not have any emotion on something?

These are some reaons why there needs to be a young adults service and/or ministry in our church:

young adults are WAY different than older adults in the following ways [Im generalizing here]:

older people have families, careers, houses, and basically routine lives. young adults are on the starting track to figuring all that stuff out. they are at the late high school college age, some married, most not, most do not have kids. therefore it is hard to relate sermons to two totally different groups. both, although adults, are very different, especially culturally.

example a: my brother [Levi] and his girlfriend [Jody]

church does not relate to them. sure the bible is always relevant no matter what your culture is like, but the sermons, the people, and the over all ministry and way it is presented is not. Levi just graduated from high school this past year, he works almost full time at Papa Murphy's pizza, and has dreams of becoming a medical helicopter pilot someday. Jody recently moved in with us from Yelm, where she was a senior in high school. She is not finishing her senior year right now, but she does plan on it. She is currently working at Roosters [Burgermaster!] Do you really think Levi and Jody are interested in the book of Neimiah? [I probably spelled that wrong]. No. Just like the YOUth arent. Levi and Jody are trying to plan their lives, their future, where they need to go from here. Young adults are, in my opinion, the most powerful age group. They are past the "YOUth stage" where they learn a lot and are motivated, but really dont have the time or maturity to make a really big impact on their culture. But they are not yet in the "adult stage" where they just dont know anything about what's relevant today. They are in that awesomely powerful "in between stage". And I don't think churches recognize that as much. Imagine if there was an entire church dedicated to this age group, what kind of impact do you think they would make? Let's ponder that for a while... More later possibly.

this is a ridiculous waste of 3 minutes and 45 seconds.
but it made me laugh out loud.
so therefor it was not.

this was HILARIOUS to me. hahaha.
for some reason it reminds me of martin strand.