Everything:infravermelho

how did I not make a big deal about post 200?

everyday when I wake up I am sore and have an extreme headache. what are the causes of these? I have no idea. I have the mos comfortable bed in the world [a feather mattress] and who gets a headache when they're sleeping?! for once I would like to wake up and feel welcomed by the day. instead I feel like it's screaming at me "I HATE YOU!!!" every morning.

on thursday matt and I drove up to Mission, British Columbia in the morning so that he could renew his car insurance before it ran out. I also got to meet all of his close friends and that was really fun. we drove back the same night. that is a loooong drive.

last night we saw Pirates of the Carribean, finally! I feel like I have been waiting to see that movie forever! I am really proud of everyone who does that movie because the 2nd and the 3rd one have all been equally as good, if not better than the previous. I am always dissapointed when really good movies come out with a sequel because it is usually not as good and almost ruins the first one. there is definitley going to be a Pirates 4.

today I get to work. and all of my friends are camping. boo!

the last day of school for me is June 15, I'm so excited! that is less than a month away. I honestly feel like for a whole semester of school I have not done much. there are whole weeks when I dont log on, but then I end up cramming later. all my teachers are saying I should finish with a fine grade though. knowing that school is ending soon is really motivating me to work hard. I finished like 7 physics assignments today.

my plan for next year is to take 4 college classes at spscc [a total of 18 college credits per quarter] and then I will have enough credits to graduate a whole year early! how exciting! I hope everything goes as planned.

today I went to this open casting-call for a new theatre... group [what are we calling this?] that shalisa smith is leading. we are doing our first play this summer [pemiering august 24!] called "a plane to somewhere". I got one of the lead roles [dang that sounded really prideful, Im such a jerk] as "mary", an older, unhappy woman who lives alone. I have an irish accent, it rocks. haha.

I'm excited for this theatre group thing because I have always really wanted to do theatre at school but the schedule is way too demanding. they have practices everyday until at least 5pm. and the cast can be really intimidating! everyone always gets the same lead roles of the same productions so it can be hard coming in new. shalisa is really cool though because she is going to schedule practices around our schedules so that we can all be there, and the cast is pretty small.

Yesterday we began our treck back from Oklahoma. IT SUCKED. We left my family's house at 11:30 and drove to Oklahoma City. We got there to return the car at 2:00, and then shuttled to the airport and got on our flight to Denver at 4:07. We arrived there at 4:38, the weird time change freaks me out, it's like our flight was only a half an hour, haha. We went to our next gate to get on the plane to fly to San Jose around 5:00, but then we waited on the plane for a while for connecting passengers who were late, making us late. We flew into San Jose in a panick because they didnt give us our boarding passes for our flight to Portland when we checked in in Oklahoma City. We got off the plane and ran to our gate at the very other end of the airport [me holding Makenna, she was asleep] and were stopped by a carry on baggage check. Our plane was boarding right as we got there. The woman said we needed to go back to the United desk and get our boarding passes before we could even check our carry-ons. We walked back to the desk and they told us that the plane didnt wait for us and that they had to shuttle us to San Francisco to get on a 10:40 flight to Portland. The plane we were SUPPOSED to be on out of San Jose left at 7:30. We shuttled over there and waited for an hour until we got on our last and final plane. We got into Portland at midnight and drove home.

I'm so tired.

we will be back in good old warshington tomorrah. Im tryin to type with an acceynt. haha. okay Im done. I have aqquired quite a good one. not too bad though. it's going to be a really long day, we get in about 9 and then have to drive home from portland. stupid portland.

Makenna calls all bugs "a bee." There are A LOT of bugs down here. we drove down to Texas yesterday and the day before that, it's only about a 25 minute drive. Anyways, I got out of the car to talk to my cousin for probably 10 minutes and I got bit 4 times by mosquito's, come to find out I am allergic to that specific kind. The one near my elbow made my forearm and hand ache for the rest of the day, and the next day the one on the back of my leg swelled up to the size of a softball. they itch.

when you go outside at night time there are bugs EVERYWHERE. weird bugs, big bugs, bugs that bite. last night I stepped on a beetle.

the cool thing about Oklahoma is their very old fashioned. yesterday we attended my aunts sixth grade graduation and one of the young girls' who was graduating started off the ceremony by telling everyone to bow their heads while she prayed. and everyone did. I'm sure not everyone in that gym believed in God, but you couldnt tell otherwise because everyone bowed their head and showed respect to God. It was really cool. Like everyone has been raised so much differently. There are no guys who run around crazy hollering things or streaking or making a mess of anything, they are nice and polite and they call you mam and hold the door open for you.

I know that all of the people arent like this all the time, but they know how to act in public and not to embarass their parents, haha. anyways, it's just something I've found pretty interesting.

after my long long journey across [or just down] the country I am finally in the great panhandle state! I dont really know if that is a nickname of oklahoma but it definitley should be. we flew out of portland this afternoon [me, my mom, and makenna] and had a layover in denver, colorado. makenna did fairly well on the plain. ["a shoe? a shoe? outside? a ba ba?"] of course she was a bit annoying but not anything we couldnt handle. or that my mom couldnt handle at least, haha. we got to ride on the "wee"'s [escalators] and meet lots of new boys who she liked, haha.

there's a few crazy things about oklahoma. here they are:

1. they're not the pacific northwest. or the puget sound lowlands even. which means they dont have a coffee craze [foldgers anyone?] and you wont find any punk/indie/emo scene anywhere!

2. it's freakishly humid. kind of like hawaii. only in hawaii you dont mind because hawaii is cool and you're just glad to be there.

3. the speed limit on the state highway is 70mph. but everyone drives like 85-90mph. my mom let me drive, it was pretty scary. plus this drunk guy passed us. he was definitley going over 100.

so we'll see how the rest of the week goes. it will most likely be pretty boring, boring meaning lack of stuff to do, but it will be fun nonetheless.

yah

i've realized something:

when someone is talking to you, you listen to them as much as they're worth.

when I attended mars hill church last month I was so intrigued at pastor marc driscoll's sermon. I NEVER listen to sermons. but at mars hill my eyes never left the screen and I was hanging off of his every word. I wonder if my own pastor at my own church preached the EXACT same sermon if I would listen even half as much? probalby not. I know driscoll's reputation and I took full advantage of being able to listen to him speak. my own pastors however, I have almost completley disregarded their words completley. If I really try I can still dig up quite a bit of anger towards my senior pastors and keep hard feelings towards them. their past decisions lowers them in my mind.

am I more willing to listen to advice with open ears to one person than another? absolutley. I always listen to nikki when she gives me relationship advice, because she is very knowledgable and I know how her relationship with God and with jordan is. she is very smart and she has had a lot of experience in her relationship. molly, however, [no offense] has never had a relationship, or THE relationship that God has placed in her life so I almost always close my mind to what she has to say about matt and I. It's not really her fault she just doesnt know. I do listen to Molly when she talks about the bible, because I know she KNOWS the bible inside and out. she is very benefical to me in that way.

my point here is: what gives credit to someones word? their reputation? their history? their relationship to us?

am I someone worth listening to? do I convey a clear understanding of the things I speak about?

[this blog describes a long, confusing, and unsuccesful attempt to get a paypal account]

this past week I went online and signed up for a paypal account. it was no different from signing up for anything else online. name, address, phone number, e-mail, very simple. I proceeded to "add" my bank account to my account which would be my one source of sending money. to verify that it was, indeed, my bank account, they deposited two small ammounts of money into my bank account online, that would show up in a few days, and then I would go back and verify the ammounts to paypal, proving to them that I am the owner. after I finally recieved the statment in my bank account I went back on paypal to confirm, only to find that I could not log in to my account. I tried the "forgot your password?" link, but of course, no e-mail showed up in my inbox.

so then I decided [after I long time of trying to log in] that I would just create another account. after I finished registering with a NEW e-mail, when I went to add my bank account [my one source of sending money] they said "sorry, this bank account is already being used." what they didnt say is "sorry, this bank account is already being used, we know YOU cant use it, so you're screwed."

I then decided to "contact" customer service in which I explained this whole process to them. what I REALLY need is to be able to log-in to my original account, I explained to them. a woman responded to my via e-mail this morning and told me that she had found my account, the SECOND one. she proceeded to tell me if I had "forgotten my password" that I needed to click on the link and follow the steps. it is not the SECOND account I have trouble logging into, that account does not matter because I cannot attatch my bank account to it because I already attatched my bank account to the FIRST ONE!!!!!! and the "forgot your password?" link. DOESNT WORK!!

oh yah, so a few minutes ago I tried to CALL their customer service line. after 10 minutes of answering security questions and entering in numbers, etc. I was put on hold to talk to an agent. oh, and then I got hung up on.

this week felt really weird. I was basically miserable 93% of the time because my sinus infection has just been getting worse and worse. no pain medication has really been helping and it's just been unbearable. also, for some reason my neck/shoulder/back pain has been super bad all week as well. the combination of the two has resulted in being SUPER fatigued and sleeping a lot. I guess I really need to go to the chiropractor. my constant head ache only ceased today, praise the Lord, it feels so good to have a little bit of a clear head. my back still feels awful though.

on saturday me, my mom, and makenna are flying down to nida, oklahoma to visit family and attend my aunt's graduation from high school. we are also going to drive down to texas and visit some other family. it's really cool going down there, I mean I just love traveling anywhere period, but being in a place where the climate is totally different and getting out of your routine for a week is an added bonus. we'll be returning the next saturday.

do parents ever think that rewarding your kids or praising them for good things might encourage them to try harder on the bad things?

I got into English 101 today, I actually got a really good score on the accuplacer. I was SO incredibly excited, but I seemed to be the only one, that was hard. I thought my parents would be prouder of me. but they can't seem to be proud of anything I do until I am perfect. my dad says, "that's really good, but what about the class that you're failing?" way to ruin my one good moment.

I feel like I am never good enough. that is almost a cliche, but it's the way I feel. I feel pretty accomplished compared to my other siblings, not to be rude or boastful towards them at all, but I thought my parents would be a lot happier with me. I try and set high goals for myself. next year I am going to graduate, a year early, with a year of college completed. I've had a job for almost a year now, but for some reason they still question my responsibility. I know I dont get perfect grades, but encouragment and praise goes a lot farther than nagging.