Everything:infravermelho

Snow was black and white... completley. Half amazing, half terrible. The amazing was getting away to Malibu, and escaping the world. I seriously did not think about my life back home at all. Malibu is the most beautiful place in the world, and I get so inspired when Im there. Snow retreat is always the best part of the year, I always look forward to it. I love being away with my best friends and having every second of our lives revolve around Jesus for a few days. I love being there with Westwood too, it's always fun hanging out with new people. The worship was great, everyone was undignified, the speaker was great, I really understood him. The food was great!!

But on the bitter side Snow brought on a lot of pain. When Brad announced he was leaving I was instantly just so sad. I was trying not to think about how mad I was, I'm still trying to not to think about it, not until the sadness part clears up. It was horrible thinking about how he wouldnt be there next year, and how someone so important in my life isnt going to be there anymore... it really breaks my heart. The other down side... well I wouldnt necisarily say it was a "down side" was that I decided that Matt and I need to really break up. We had said in December that we were going to "slow down", whatever that means, but God really just spoke so clearly to me saying that we needed to end even the relationship we had left after that. I told him last night on the phone when the bus was broken down in Seattle. I was really upset, mostly because I care about his heart a lot and I dont want to hurt it. After I got off the phone with him I couldnt stop crying, I just really didnt want him to be upset, so I called him back, and he assured me he was fine, he trusts me. So I guess that is the end of that... It's weird and it's hard, but God really helped me out a lot this weekend with preparing for it.

One of my favorite things about this weekend was all of my friends that I am SO MUCH closer to now. I'm really happy that I got to build relationships with Brandon, Wes, Marissa, Dylan, Lynette, Chelsey, and Josh all so much stronger. I really think THAT is what makes a YOUth Church great.

As for Brad leaving... I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. I don't have any desire to be a part of my church anymore... mostly because it clearly doesnt care about where I fit into it. The only thing that might keep me coming to youth church is that I feel bad for Justin, and I dont want to completley abandon him, I'd rather help it out, even though I'm so mad and I would rather quit just to make a statment... not to him... to the elders. But who knows if it would. I've also been thinking about maybe going over to the Westwood youth group sometime... who knows if I will.

So snow was bittersweet. All in all I enjoyed it... and it has really started a new chapter in my life, because of all the changes.

I love Molly!!