Everything:infravermelho

I guess I am dissapointed. I thought bitter was the word, maybe mad, but mostly sad/dissapointed. that I am held back. I dont know what I am doing with my life, I dont know what Im going to do. I dont want to do anything self centered, or that focuses my energy on some stupid problem. I want to do something bigger than myself. I want to live like I have a bigger purpose, because I do. But I dont know what I want to do until then. I dont want to do anything! I want "then" to be like now. I feel like I am filling my time with things that dont matter, that wont matter, I feel like I should be doing something more important. But I am not motivated to do anything small [I know this is bad]. But the smallest things are important too. I wish the direction God is sending me was a little more clear, but I'm not complaining, I know it will be. And if its not I will go through the fog. How come the law is holding me back? the rules that they created to push me forward are slowing me down? this is dumb. this is dissapointing.