Everything:infravermelho

I really enjoyed the Floodgate show tonight, ok honestly, I always really enjoy the Floodgate shows, they are just so great! Joshua Boyt started talking half way through, and asking if anyone wanted to get rid of things they were holding in on the inside, anything that might be holding them back, he invited them to kneel at the altar, I went, not going to mention the specific struggle for personal reasons, but I knelt. After a while of not much happening, I went and sat in the first row of chairs, most people were still kneeling, and the band was playing random spirit led lines. Then I looked up at the screen and read the words, "There is no one like you" about four times. I just started crying really hard, which is not really like me, I dont really like to cry hardly, and if I do, I dont like to talk about it, I find it annoying. So I was sitting there with my head down crying and I probably looked pretty pathetic. Suddenly I felt a hand on me, and then an arm around me, and someone holding my hand. I didnt know who it was because I didnt look up. But then she said, "I feel like God is telling me that he's not dissapointed in you. That he loves you and he knows your heart and your intentions, and that you please him. You dont dissapoint him." It was Erin. She proceeded to say some more things, which really were spoken right to me, from God. and I just really started crying because that meant so much to me. I really was crying because I felt like I had dissapointed God so badly, and I was just so sorry.

I had one of those nights again, one of those nights where I feel everyone's hurt. I wrote about it more in my myspace blog, but its just basically that I hurt for broken hearted people. I mean broken hearted like hopeless. In my myspace blog I put for example, drug addicts, people who have been involved with affair, little girls who fathers are in prison, who couldnt seem to stay clean. All of those people I am directly related with, and I have seen them hurt so badly, and have been hurt by them. And I just want to love them. I just want them to rejoice in front of the Lord because he loves them. I said that if I could take all of their hurt and put it on myself, I would. But I can't, because Jesus already did that. I want to let my life, my love, reflect what he did. Jesus didnt die for nothing. If I EVER see you judge a homeless person, if you EVER talk about how weird alcoholics are, or just stereotype people in the stupidest way, I will be PISSED OFF. So remember that. I am all those people. I am the drug addict. I am the prostitute. I am the drunk driver. I am the all of them.

Light of the world
stepped out into darkness
you opened my eyes
made me see