And when I see you, I really see you upside down
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 10:24 AM
*sigh* I'm done...
It's 10:22, appearently I am going to be late for school, oh well. School is dumb. Death Cab For Cutie is playing on Windows and I just finished eating my favorite cereal. Sound relaxing? It is. It's the first time I have been relaxed in a long time, and it's been making me change. But I'm done with that. I decided that I can't walk over to the high school and see Sam anymore. It's killing me. If he likes Molly, then I'll get over it I guess. But I just have to let him go a little; he's been taking up a lot of room in my head, and that needs to end too. Last year I said I gave up boys. That's basicly a lie, sure I dont "date" them, but my heart is still all into them like there's no difference. What I really want is not to let myself fall. I know I can't help myself from liking someone, but I can to a point. I can control how much time I spend with them, how much I talk about them, that kind of stuff. That's how I think of letting myself fall... letting myself like them. Instead now I think I am going to do something different. I don't really know what, maybe look back on this experience and remember how much it hurt. I didnt like, love Sam. But I liked him a lot, and now knowing [thinking] he likes Molly, hurts. Big Splash is what started this. I was really glad when I found out he was coming. But when he got there it was like... I was invisible.
Big Splash was pretty fun. It was cool that we got to meet/help all the local bands. And being onstage for Floodgate was sooo awesome. But then after that I couldnt stand at all. And sat the rest of the time, so.. that sucked. Molly and I were standing right next to Hawk Nelson, and actually kind of talked with them, Hawk smiled at me, ahh yah! And then before we were going on stage, Superchick was hanging out backstage and I went up and started talking with Korey and Trisha and the other girl [dont know her name?] came up and started talking to us, THAT was cool. Finally met Dango, he's such a nice guy, he was even gonna hook me up withe a discount on a sweatshirt, haha.
Well I guess that's all for now, the main thing for this blog was that I need to change. Not like, "Oh i'm a horrible person, I need to change my life, blah blah blah." Just like, I need to stop letting myself fall for guys, and I just.. need to... relax..
It's 10:22, appearently I am going to be late for school, oh well. School is dumb. Death Cab For Cutie is playing on Windows and I just finished eating my favorite cereal. Sound relaxing? It is. It's the first time I have been relaxed in a long time, and it's been making me change. But I'm done with that. I decided that I can't walk over to the high school and see Sam anymore. It's killing me. If he likes Molly, then I'll get over it I guess. But I just have to let him go a little; he's been taking up a lot of room in my head, and that needs to end too. Last year I said I gave up boys. That's basicly a lie, sure I dont "date" them, but my heart is still all into them like there's no difference. What I really want is not to let myself fall. I know I can't help myself from liking someone, but I can to a point. I can control how much time I spend with them, how much I talk about them, that kind of stuff. That's how I think of letting myself fall... letting myself like them. Instead now I think I am going to do something different. I don't really know what, maybe look back on this experience and remember how much it hurt. I didnt like, love Sam. But I liked him a lot, and now knowing [thinking] he likes Molly, hurts. Big Splash is what started this. I was really glad when I found out he was coming. But when he got there it was like... I was invisible.
Big Splash was pretty fun. It was cool that we got to meet/help all the local bands. And being onstage for Floodgate was sooo awesome. But then after that I couldnt stand at all. And sat the rest of the time, so.. that sucked. Molly and I were standing right next to Hawk Nelson, and actually kind of talked with them, Hawk smiled at me, ahh yah! And then before we were going on stage, Superchick was hanging out backstage and I went up and started talking with Korey and Trisha and the other girl [dont know her name?] came up and started talking to us, THAT was cool. Finally met Dango, he's such a nice guy, he was even gonna hook me up withe a discount on a sweatshirt, haha.
Well I guess that's all for now, the main thing for this blog was that I need to change. Not like, "Oh i'm a horrible person, I need to change my life, blah blah blah." Just like, I need to stop letting myself fall for guys, and I just.. need to... relax..